The Goodbye Girl
Pain Is a Gift Too
Sometimes, carrying on, just carrying on, is the superhuman achievement.
— Albert Camus
It’s what kicked off the idea for the stories that eventually became my novel—wondering what had happened to the young woman in her relationship to leave her crying, begging, and pleading with whoever was on the phone with her not to leave her behind.
I had been waiting alongside her for the announcement that flight attendants were now boarding business class. I’ll never forget how, after the call, she looked at me, her face red and her eyes puffy. Then I said to her a lyric from a favorite song1 of mine at the time:
After the rain comes sun…
After the sun comes rain…
Her eyes smiled for a moment before she buried her face in her hands and began to cry again.
Many hours later, I arrived at my hotel room in Berlin, and just as I was getting ready for work, I tuned in to a music channel and saw that same young woman singing with desperation about love and devotion in a video on Viva TV.
It made sense that she sang that way. The video must’ve been made recently, with her channeling the same pain that made her sound, during that phone call in the Lufthansa terminal at JFK Airport, as though her life was falling apart, and all she could do was watch.
Whenever I see her on TV now—a multi-platinum recording artist2 whose public persona balances strength with vulnerability—I smile. All the pain she must’ve felt in the aftermath of what appeared to be an epic breakup, she channeled into her art and became successful because of it.
We’ve all been in that spot where we want to give up, where we want to die, but we keep it moving. We keep going.
We move on.
I hope you’re able to see yourself in this quick story.
Whatever you’re going through, that young lady and I are your sign to move on.
Everything will be alright.
Want more? My Instagram isn’t where I write, but it’s where I share the images, music, and moments that shape the stories I tell. If you’re into the culture, the vibe, and the history behind these worlds, follow me @viktor.e.mares.
Also, my novel The Desert Road of Night, which explores many of the themes in my short stories, poems, and personal essays like this one, is available for preorder on Amazon.
I reserve the right to claim plausible deniability in the event of a mistaken identity.